www.DistillingGrief.com Pinned Blog Post "Grief is the final responsibility for having loved someone." This statement is an underlying theme of my writings and discussions on grief, clearly stating that how we grieve is a responsibility and should respect and reflect how and who we have loved and lost. Grieving responsibly implies that we will love... Continue reading→

Today we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary. Sixteen thousand eight hundred and one days married. Our nineteenth anniversary, seven thousand seventy six days,  since the death of our son in a firefighter training accident. We have shared a destiny of a lifetime love chosen by two, built by two, respected by two. Lived one day... Continue reading→

Many, perhaps even most, deaths involve some measure of human error. These deaths appear, in perfect hindsight of grief, to have been absolutely avoidable. They weren’t caused by a bolt of lightning, flood, or an earthquake, they were caused in some part by the action or perhaps inaction of another human. Grief becomes very focused... Continue reading→

After promising to be more attentive and prolific writing on this blog, I appeared to fall off the face of the Earth. I have a good excuse, as well as a fresh journey through grief where no one died and it all ended pretty well. Achilles had his heel; apparently my tragic weakness might just... Continue reading→

A post of mine first on Quora over four years ago. I will never forget the struggle at times to live breath to breath in fresh grief. Just Breathe I lost a beautiful brother to suicide at age 43 in 2000. We had no advance hints. signs, cries for help. We were blindsided. He left... Continue reading→

Apologies, I have not posted in several months. I have changed my routine to allow a much needed serious focus on physical fitness, yet another of a life long series of rebirths of my too often ignored aerobic capacity. That rebirth has been wonderful and welcome; the human body’s capacity to rebuild physically is quite... Continue reading→

Grief is a lonely place. For a time after the loss of a loved one, we have lost our own sense of self and to varying degrees our trust in the fundamental natural order of the Universe. We change in our ability to interact socially; our more casual friendships are hard to relate to because... Continue reading→

You’ve lost a loved one and you’re grieving. You may have lost sight of part or all of yourself. It’s completely normal to not recognize yourself, or to see yourself as wounded, diminished, damaged, or even someone completely different than yourself. Grief can trigger re-evaluation of your own life, making you satisfied or dissatisfied with... Continue reading→

To understand the importance of grieving well and safely, let’s take a few minutes to talk about what happens when grief damages a life. My retired life spends several winter months in a resort environment with a better climate than home. When the weather is good, I will often write early mornings in the quiet... Continue reading→

I have grieved well for a long time. I write about grief. I understand the purpose and paths of grief better than most. I am rational and physically and mentally healthy. Certain holidays and annual events have challenges and negative physical and emotional effects on me that I have repeatedly failed to immediately attribute to... Continue reading→

A significant challenge of grieving is that we don’t have a lot of good models for grief, and we fail to talk with our loved ones about what to do after we inevitably die. When you’re without specific instructions about how to grieve someone, I suggest that you do your best to grieve them as... Continue reading→