Blog

This is an advanced and long post. Grief is not simple, it is as complex as the life we have lost. There are a few links early in the post that new followers might wish to branch off for a warm up before the main course, so that the rest of what I am saying... Read More→

In my years of talking and writing about grief, the most common question people want answered is “How do I get through grief quickly?” This is a continuum of the general concept that grief is an affliction, an evil thing that must somehow be eliminated from your life as quickly as possible. The pain of... Read More→

It begins with your attitude. If we treat grief as an affliction that needs to be cured, then naturally we will try to hurry thru grief as quickly as possible. If you believe in the process as stages of grief, we will try to do them each quickly, so we can say that we’ve been... Read More→

It’s June 6, 2023, today we pass the 18th anniversary of the death of our perfect 20 year old son James. James was home from a brilliant first year at University on a prestigious full tuition and fees scholarship that he had been awarded. He was newly in love with a beautiful young woman that... Read More→

The only fairness we can find in death is that, without exception, death will eventually come to each and every one of us. Death is never fair. it has no ability to be fair. The Universe is unemotional, a massively chaotic place ruled by rigid mechanical laws. There is no fundamental capacity in those mechanical... Read More→

I do not fear my own eventual death, instead I fear not living and loving today while I have this precious gift of another day. I fear that those who will grieve my eventual and inevitable death will become lost in that grief, and so by these writings I want more people to better understand... Read More→

The death of a loved one can quickly become very damaging to even the tightest woven social fabric of a solid family, and destructive to already worn thin social fabrics of less close families and circles of friends. For visualization, I like the metaphor that a community or family is a social fabric woven from... Read More→

When someone you know suffers a loss, many people just don’t know what to say, and this discomfort surrounding grief brings deeper silence and isolation to those grieving. So, here is my not so short guide attempting to help you to speak more effectively to grieving people, mostly by understanding things not to say. There... Read More→

In any good life filled with love there is an implied but usually not discussed acceptance of grief. We grieve because we love. No love, no grief. The longer and deeper the love the more challenging the grief. When we love someone, we implicitly accept that one of us will die before the other. Grief... Read More→

The purest forms of love are unconditional love, wide open pathways between two souls where love can travel instantly with great force and reaction. The soul contains our conscience which tries to protect us from danger, and an unconditional wide open pathway for love to flow out of our soul is a very great danger.... Read More→